***Warning:*** Not a completely warm fuzzy blog post. Dealing with the sensitive subject of suicide. Proceed with hope in your heart and a smile intact.
Today's post is one pretty close to me. This is for two reasons; one is that I do know what it is like to feel close to that edge all of us feel but it is still taboo to talk about in our society: suicide---or at least thinking about it. It is that place where it does not matter what else is good in your life, all of your resources cannot help you cope with the pain you feel day in and day out, and for some their problems can become so bad that anything that may look like it could be the ultimate means to make the misery stop, even if that option is a permanent one---death, does not look so bad, even though there is another way.
Do you watch cartoons? I know what conventional wisdom says about adults and cartoons (Grown-up kids, adult children, etc. are what we grown folk who love our cartoons are called) but there is plenty to gain from watching cartoons, like this little gem here:
(Note: From the episode "Avatar Day". I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender, used here for illustrative purposes. Copyright owners and Viacom.)
Prince Zuko: Then there's no hope at all.
Uncle Iroh: No! Zuko! You must never give into despair. Allow yourself to slip down that road and you surrender to your lowest instincts. In the darkest times, hope is something you give yourself. That is the meaning of inner strength.
(From Animated Series "Avatar: The Last Airbender")
That is one of my favorite cartoon series really every. And it had a lot of moments like this. Some of the clips are on Youtube if you want to take a peak... but back on topic here--- the talk of suicide among Targeted Individuals. To quote a website I went to a few times while in a dark place in the past, "Suicide is not chosen; it happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain." (source: metanoia.org/suicide ---by the way, there is nothing specific to Targeted Individuals is on this site; I visited this site before I was aware of the OS and EH around me) While I have not felt like that in a long time, some of the organized stalking in my life, particularly the V2K recently, is what gave me this idea. What I am working on is a go-to page for other Targeted Individuals of organized stalking and electronic harassment, to do for other TI's what metanoia.org does for non-TI's (feel free to pass along metanoia.org link to any non-target. It is still a great site. Even hold on to it yourself, along with other resources you have.)
Ours is a particularly tough place, since much of the time the bulk of the crimes committed against TI's usually cannot be proven in a court of law (yet), either we try to accept a lie in exchange for temporary help, meaning the psychiatric label complete with the anti-psychotic medication(s) in false hopes that the ongoing "voices" will wash away---all the while knowing exactly what is happening to us and feeling completely bypassed by the justice system because of this. Walk into a crisis center, mention either organized stalking, or how about this: Voice-to-Skull or just say "I hear the voices of people in my own home!" ...and in all probability you will rest easy in that padded 12ft x 12ft room complete with a nice restraint jacket to keep you warm while you sleep off that tranquilizer shot. Dramatic use of words (for what I hope made you giggle a little. It can help to laugh a little, since these crimes are a lot of words that I won't attempt to squeeze here) aside, that is the sad reality. And if you will not accept living a lie that entails telling mental health professionals and police that it really is the "crazy voices" and not actual vicious criminal harassment occurring, where do you turn? Especially since believing the lie will not --- and please learn this now while you are well and of sound mind---- will not stop the harassment, nor make any of the electronic component go away. Are you going to force yourself to go another day baring the brunt of the covert harassment each and every day while trying to avoid destructive coping habits such as smoking, drinking, and drugs? For some TI's, unfortunately, the decision comes to a desperate place: How exactly do I end it? For some, it is their own lives. For others, revenge motivates an angry, desperate TI into revenge-violence, like murder-suicide. There is nothing to condone violence and everyone loses in this type of situation, however there are still people who have not been and will not be held responsible with the angry Targeted Individual until these crimes get their rightfully-earned places in the law books as serious human rights violations and criminal offenses: those who asserted 24/7 covert harassment and stalking on this TI. There would be blood on their hands and for some the only thing to do would be to move on to the next TI, self-vindicating themselves of any wrong-doing.
The project here is to give TI's a site, as I said earlier like how metanoia.org helps non- targets of multiple stalkers and/or electronic harassment, where if they are in an angry or desperate place, here is at least one other stop they can make before they really consider the permanent, sad alternative. It is still under construction, however the page is now up. It is the one labeled "If You Are In Crisis Now" so I want to offer any targets of organized stalking and/or electronic harassment this page to hold onto for the night, as well as the pages titled "Resources For Targets" from one of my most favorite non-target of stalking (FYI: I did discover though from reading about him that he was indeed under constant surveillance quote "I have never lost a minute's peace for having detectives by my side. The public may not know I have been shadowed throughout my stay in India." To see the entire quote, see the blog post "Mahatma Gandhi ---- Under Surveillance?") human rights leaders of all time: Mohandas "Mahatma" K. Gandhi.
"Whenever I despair, I remember that the way of truth and love has always won. There may be tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they may seem invincible, but in the end, they always fail. Think of it: always."